Forgiveness - For Me????

This morning on the way to work (yep, same spot on Norvell Road) God nudged me to turn on the radio and Family Life Radio especially, which isn’t often my first choice. I haven’t listened to music in the car much lately … just relish the silence. For a minute I relented because the rest of my day would be filled with noise right up to hitting the pillow, but that nudge became very strong. Funny, when I did turn the radio on, the station was right there (usually its W4 Country).

First conversation was talking about bugs, then the news (some microwave oatmeal story – tastes better cooked for 25-30 minutes okay?!), then back to music. Casting Crowns. East to West. Especially these words … “But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away from You leaving me this way … In the arms of your mercy I find rest, ‘cause You know just how far the east is from the west. From one scarred hand to the other” all these years I’ve thought those lyrics were like placing my scars (consequences of sin) into his scarred hands … and this morning I saw/felt/understood/imagined and could feel the motion across my chest as the soldiers would have taken Christ’s arms and spread them on the cross, then the nails puncturing his wrists/hands making those scars … the pain, the angst, the Blood.

You can imagine the healing in tears, the forgiveness, and Pastor’s words from Sunday’s sermon came to me echoing Prof Shuta’s words from class time and time again, we just are to receive (this garment from Matthew 22:1-14), just receive, just receive … Jesus, Thy Blood and Righteousness, thy beauty are my glorious dress, ‘midst flaming worlds in these arrayed, with JOY shall I lift up my head. Oh how hard it is to stand at that place of unworthiness and look up into the loving face of Jesus, then fall into His arms, those arms that were stretched out for you and for me. Surrender.

Then a moment of doubt crept in, Lord, is your forgiveness really for me … I know it is for others … but is it really, really, really for me? There is just so much in all of this for me today, and a few lyrics from a song to jar me loose and send its message home to my heart. So very much. Thoughts from class came flooding in again, the purpose of God’s (My) Word … is to produce worship. Sixty-six love letters. Written by the hand of man, but by the very Breathe of God. And again, as your mind roles through word pictures of all the verses that you’ve ever read, perhaps memorized, the stories and once again I see the mystery, the awe of a God that would love me so much – ME full of sin, full of junk, full of selfishness, and full of nothing worthy of salvation.

Almost wiped the sweat from my brown and was thankful I made the move to turn the radio on this morning. Wow, what I would have missed.

Maybe some of these lyrics will bless you today as well. You can find them at http://artists.letssingit.com/casting-crowns-lyrics-east-to-west-xngr6x5

Grace and peace ... grace and peace to you this day.